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Tips for understanding and coping after bereavement:

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• Acknowledge your pain.

• Accept that grief can trigger many different and unexpected emotions.

• Understand that your grieving process will be unique to you.

• Seek out face-to-face support from people who care about you.

• Support yourself emotionally by taking care of yourself physically.

• Recognize the difference between grief and depression.

• Take care of yourself by eating well, getting some rest, and taking gentle exercise.

• Talk about your feelings and the person you lost.

• Don't try to do too much while you're grieving.

 

A whirlwind of pain and emotions may make you feel stuck when loss happens. Creating memorials and sharing positive memories may help you manage your grief.

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Loss is a part of life. You can feel grief anytime you lose something important to you. Sources of grief can be:

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• death

• job loss

• financial hardships

• the breakdown of relationship

 

It’s okay to not want to focus on managing grief right away. Grieving is an individual process; there’s no right or wrong way to go about it.

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You can come back from grief. Symbolism, memorials, and journaling are just some ways to start the process.

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“The biggest part of navigating grief is finding your own unique support tools and practices that work well with your life,” says Simone Koger, a licensed marriage and family therapist and grief counsellor from Spanaway, Washington. She explains loss involves a one-on-one connection which is why managing grief can mean something different for everyone.

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Symbolism

Honour your loss through symbolism. Finding things that remind you of the person (or pet) you have lost to be reminders of the importance they have in your life, Keepsakes and pictures of positive moments can help you recall feelings of joy. 

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Research also also suggests that building shrines, such as creating murals and placing memorial items at a site, can be healing as you honour loved ones that have passed away.

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Memorials

Another way of honouring a loss is to create a memorial. Memorials can help alleviate your fears that a loved one might be forgotten by you or others, for example.

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Jacquelyn Tenaglia, a licensed mental health counsellor from Boston, suggests planting a tree as a living memorial.

Other people have found benefits to physical reminders, like tattoos. Literature from grief researcher, Dr. Deborah Davidson, notes tattoos, as a form of art, can help articulate the depth of a love that you may not be able to put into words. You can also create your own memorial pieces using items associated with your loved one which is an incredibly therapeutic process.

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Sharing

Talk about special memories of them with others.

 

Talking about the good times can be a way to revisit positive memories and temporarily interrupt the slew of negative emotions you may feel after a loss.

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Sharing can also help you find support from your friends and family. It can be a reminder that you’re not alone. Often, grief is something multiple people are experiencing at once, even though each process is individual.

“Pain shared is pain halved,” says Dr. Gary Brown, a psychotherapist from Los Angeles. “This is one of the keys to moving through grief. Keeping it in will likely prolong your suffering. If you can’t talk about it, you can’t process it. Reach out to family and friends who you know are supportive.”

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Keeping short-term goals

It can be natural to fall into the habit of isolation and withdrawal when you’re experiencing grief.

Dr. Gary Brown states, “It is easy to get caught up in withdrawing from life. When you are ready, make a to-do list every day. Having short-term goals can help you feel not so overwhelmed.”

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Small goals can help you focus. Instead of looking at everything you have to do in the day or what the future holds, having a list can help you celebrate small accomplishments like eating breakfast.

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Before you know it, your list may get you through the entire day without feeling like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.

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Being kind to yourself

It’s natural to experience grief. There’s no wrong way to express emotions of loss.

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When people around you can’t relate to your experience, they may inadvertently make you feel guilty, embarrassed, or ashamed for feeling the way you do.

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According to Brown, it can be important to know what you’re feeling is natural. “Accept that whatever thoughts and feelings you are having (with the exception of self-harm or harm to others) simply means that you are a normal person, having normal but understandably upsetting reactions, to the loss of a loved one,” he states.

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One way to be kind to yourself is through self-care. Eating right, focusing on healthy sleep habits, and remaining active can help your body and mind when healing from grief.

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Allowing grief

While staying active can help you work through grief, Koger cautions against not allowing yourself time to grieve.

“Make sure to take breaks; some people try to work, literally, through grief, which is a type of avoidance,” she says. “Hold space for your grief.”

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Journaling and Therapeutic Writing

Expressing your emotions to someone else isn’t always easy—or possible— if those feelings are overwhelming to say out loud.

Journaling offers a way to explore your grief without fear of judgment. How you journal is as individual as your grieving process.

You might only write down one-word emotions, for example. Some people find descriptive imagery helpful.

Tenaglia recommends writing a letter to that person if grief is due to losing a loved one.

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Sometimes, the regret of not having said something can weigh heavily on your mind when you lose someone close to you.

Writing a letter to them is an opportunity to say those things you wish you had said—positive or negative.

Grief can be about finding closure for negative emotions, as well.

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Letting yourself cry

“Tears release oxytocin and endorphins, which relieve physical and psychological pain and helps calm your body,” explains Tenaglia.

A 2017 review into the human phenomenon of weeping found not only did it serve as a self-soothe mechanism through endorphin release, but it also communicated the need for support to those around us. Weeping also had mood-stabilizing properties related to emotional release.

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(Source: Pyschcentral.com)

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